These are testimonies of Satanists who I admire very much and who have a very strong devotion to Satan. I hope that you enjoy reading them and that you are encouraged and strengthened on your path as a Satanist.
My confession begins at birth. I was born fatherless (a bastard) as they call it, and my mother and I had struggled very hard our whole lives. I was raised in a Christian environment, went to church on Sunday,attended Sunday school and all that nonsense. Being in church was very uncomfortable for me and my mother, and people would stare and treat her horribly because she had no siblings. We were outcasts in church, receiving no help or support when we really needed it. School for me was hard. I had gone to a Christian school from kindergarten to grade 2, but my mother could no longer afford to send me and the school would do nothing to help a single mother with a kid. Then I began going to a public school, but because I had strong Christian values, it was hard. I always argued with the teachers about their views on how creation happened and in 5th grade, I knocked out my science teacher for saying we all came from gorillas. I was very loyal to "God" and I prayed every night for guidance for my mother and I, and it wasnt till 6th grade when I came upon a verse in the bible that really troubled me. The verse was, "And I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel" (Genesis 3:15). Therefore there are the children of Eve and the children of Father Satan.
I began reading occult books and studied the black arts, trying to find out who I am. Of course I read LaVeys so called Satanic Bible which absolutely disgusted me. I was 13 when I met Father Conrad of the Black Union of Pennsylvania, who was a Satanist in the traditional sense. I told him about how my mother and I were being treated and how loyal I was to Christ, but felt no appreciation from him. He spoke words that will stay with me till I am in the grave- "Satan is the father of the fallen, rejected and the lonely all who God abandoned." Since then, I have read THE BLACK BOOK OF SATAN and other great satanic literature that had cleared my mind and made so much sense. I would spend hours with Conrad; learning the ways of the black arts- that Satanism isnt a religion but the truth. There are the sons of Eve and the sons of the Serpent. After 2 years of finding myself, it was clear I was a reject bastard by God. I was sick of hearing Christians preach of their blessings and they would help others who really needed no help at all. Christianity to me was a clique for rich pious snobs. It was then when I took the oath of the
I owe my blood to my fallen Lord. What Satan has done for me is that he has rid me of fear, anxiety, and all the things that Christ did nothing to help me with. Satan is my God, my Master, and my Father. He comes first in my life over anything. If I had never turned my life over to the fallen lord, I would still be living my life in fear and confused turmoil, asking why isnt this horrible Yahweh helping me. He is a horrible God of Lies, who Satan stood up to with great ideas and the lying, who I call daddies boy Jesus, stepped in and destroyed Satans plans for his perfect world. I pledged war on "god" since age 16 and my life and my soul belongs to SATAN.
OH SATAN, MY FATHER
SHUT THE LIES OF THE JEALOUS GOD
I LOOK FORWARD TO WHEN YOU ARE ENTHRONED
ON THE THRONE OF THE UNIVERSE
AND JEHOVAH AND JESUS ARE BANISHED IN HELL FOREVER
MAY YOUR LEGIONS REIN OVER ALL
HAIL ALL THE FALLEN ANGELS!
HAIL SATANS DEMONS!
HAIL THE NEPHILIM!
HAIL THE PRINCIPALITIES!
SHEOL WAITS FOR GOD. IT IS EXCITED FOR YOU!!!
By Joshua Sasse
My journey into Satanism and the occult all started when I first prayed to Satan when I was 15 years old. Previously raised and educated in a Lutheran background, I had grown tired of all the dead religion and bullshit pushed forward by the pastors and even the students. I had come to the revelation that all humans, Christian or Atheist, are beasts. I wanted to become something more, I wanted greater power. These things pushed me to study the black arts and embrace Satan as my TRUE FATHER. This would begin the transformation from human weakness to demonic godhood. It wasnt long before I found the Satanic Bible by Anton LaVey. In it, he points out all the weaknesses of the Christian faith, and that all followers of Christ are nothing but carnal beasts. Drinking, looking at pornography, and lying are all common traits of the typical Christian he says. But the Satanic Bible was only the beginning.
After about a week into my occult studies I experienced a nightmare. I was suddenly shaken by a demonic force before I found myself standing in my room. The walls appeared to move slightly before me, as if in waves. There was a door in the room, which I approached and opened. Inside was what appeared to be a burnt down building and a vast space of emptiness and darkness. I revered the bliss of the moment, and felt the power running through my veins. I was then confronted with another door that I felt might hold unspeakable horrors behind it. I felt the rising ecstasy as I approached the door and opened it. I stood before a mirror with my face reflected in it. My face contorted into that of a demons. At the same time I was both horrified and satisfied. The image was who I am and will become. The demon was made flesh and part of me at that moment. After looking back at this experience, I realize that I am a child of Satan and always will be until the end of time. I AM THE DEMON!!!
Satan has proved by my experience in hell that he is my TRUE FATHER. But Satan is more to me than just a father. He is a giver of everlasting happiness and peace. Satan does not command of his children to worship him, but instead to become like him in all ways possible.
My life has changed for the better ever since I prayed to Satan. I have become stronger in Will, more disciplined, more intelligent, and more focused then ever. I have made the call and climbed the steps toward godhood.
After my experience, I continued to study the dark arts. I came across the works of Michael W. Ford and Aleister Crowley. I found
My Testimonial By Rev. Jodash Pheonix Since many Orthodox Traditional Satanists have a Christian background similar to mine, I'll avoid the sickening details of my long years of slavery to Jehovah and stick to the major points of that time. It's only in retrospect that I can say I was born for SATAN. Throughout childhood, I was indoctrinated with the vilest form of Christianity in existence: fundamentalism. Deep within my soul, I knew that I was never going to be a "Good Christian" because I knew things about my nature that would make it impossible. I nurtured my hate, selfishness, and the ability to deceive subconsciously, because my subconscious self realized these things were gifts to be treasured, not "sins" to be washed away. It would take me YEARS of drowning in the sea of shit that is Christianity before I finally walked away from it at 21.
But I wasn't quite free yet because for the next 10 years, I wandered aimlessly with no realizations in spirituality. When I hit my 30's, I believe Satan tired of my floating and exerted a greater pull, making HIS legacy more obvious to me by forcing the growth of some of the seeds HE planted in my soul at my creation. Without realizing it, I gravitated to those darker places in my soul. I rediscovered the hatred, power of deception, and selfishness, then I began to learn how to manipulate these things.
It wasn't until just a few years ago that I came to my commitment. First, I read LaVey's "Satanic" Bible, thinking it was the answer. For about a minute, I was able to convince myself that its humanistic, almost atheistic philosophy of Satan as the dark portion of the spirit was the truth. I stumbled onto the Cathedral of The Black Goat group on Yahoo and realized that they followed the principles that I had secretly looked for all of my life. I couldn't justify within myself the idea that Satan is an aspect of the human spirit, because I know that HE is a real entity. I began talking with one of the members via IM and email, confessing to him what I truly believe and know about my legacy. I secured a copy of The Devil's Bible by High Priest Myrmydon (of Cathedral of The Black Goat). It's good that I'm a "quick study" because now that I was accepting my legacy, I felt I had so much lost time to make up for. Several months after coming to CoBG, Bishop Michael (with the approval of High Priest Myrmydon), created a new "Coven" under the umbrella of CoBG: The Cult of The Ram, a group for gay male Orthodox Traditional Satanists. Soon after we started this group, Bishop Michael extended to me the call to Priesthood within it. It's a position of honor (the call is from LORD SATAN), one in which I serve as counsel to those who have questions, need guidance, and an example of what LORD SATAN desires from all of us. My selfish nature has made it necessary for Bishop Michael to add the modifier "Solitary" to my title, since I don't have the same giving nature that some of my fellow Priests and Bishops of Satan do, so in this way I serve counsel at my convenience. In case my position as a Priest in a Coven of gay men labels me as strictly gay, I should clarify that while I usally prefer guys for satisfaction of sexual desires, I can't rule out women any longer... my appetite for sexual gratification is too gluttonous to continue that limitation.
Since I am a lover of music, it would be unjust for me to leave that out. Even in my youth, I was drawn to "evil" music and heavy metal (which is about the same age I am... guess we grew up together). It was my secret pleasure, a secret that a "Christian boy" could share with no one. Sneaking into my brothers Judas Priest and Iron Maiden albums paved the way for my teen years where I got off on Metallica, Slayer, Pantera, etc. Specifically, committing to Satan has affected my musical taste in the past few years, too. I've blasted through Venom, Mercyful Fate, King Diamond, Sodom, Mayhem, and like bands (years after the fact), finally coming to Black Metal. There are plenty of bands who put out what I call "doctrinally sound" lyrics, even when the band members are not True Satanists or even consider themselves Satanists, but it's still not the best choice. What I have come to most lately is music by bands who ARE committed to Satan's work(and openly admitting it). I like to refer to them as "Satan's Musical Ministers," such as Archgoat, Thornspawn, Weverin, Goat Terrorism, etc. One of my Brothers in Satan, Brother Dagon, uses the term "Satanic Gospel," which is a fairly accurate way to describe the purpose of True Satanic Black Metal; glorifying Satan. I have often thought it a shame that True Satanists who enjoy other genres of music have no such overtly Satanic musical offerings to enjoy. Somewhere, there must be musically inclined Satanists whose talents lie in Country/Western, Pop, R&B, Classical, etc. I think they should be out there using their talents for the same glorification of Satan...
My most recent understandings in gathering wisdom have led me to a harder, colder, more ferocious and militant realm. I look at the workings of those who hold seats of power in government and industry and know them for the slaves of Jehovah they are. They in turn have sway over the masses, though slaves are slaves regardless of station. I see that the ruler-slaves will cannibalize the common-slaves, and to thin the herd they will use war, induce pestilence, and deliberate distribution of toxins. I learn of these things and have no pity for the bulk of humanity. Any shred of altruism remaining within me will be reserved for my Brothers and Sisters who, like me, have abandoned the ways of those without... and worship our Master LORD SATAN with no reservations, doubts, or limits.
Rev. Jodash Phoenix
Cult of the Ram
Cathedral of the Black Goat
By Rev. Jodash Pheonix
Since many Orthodox Traditional Satanists have a Christian background similar to mine, I'll avoid the sickening details of my long years of slavery to Jehovah and stick to the major points of that time.
It's only in retrospect that I can say I was born for SATAN. Throughout childhood, I was indoctrinated with the vilest form of Christianity in existence: fundamentalism. Deep within my soul, I knew that I was never going to be a "Good Christian" because I knew things about my nature that would make it impossible. I nurtured my hate, selfishness, and the ability to deceive subconsciously, because my subconscious self realized these things were gifts to be treasured, not "sins" to be washed away. It would take me YEARS of drowning in the sea of shit that is Christianity before I finally walked away from it at 21.
By Daniel Phoenix
Have you ever felt dead? Have you ever felt hopeless? Have you ever felt so depressed you need to die? Have you ever felt you are nothing? Well, that is what my life used to be when I wasnt around Satan. Days full of emotional slashes, days spent suffering about being alive, hating myself more than anything else.
However, I got sick of these issues and I told myself: If god really loves me and cares about me, why is he letting me feel this cruel way? Until I decided it was enough, suddenly I started to talk to Satan in a very open way, a very human way, which I truly felt he was listening to me, paying attention and understanding all my pain and sickness.
All the agony I had inside started to decrease and it was replaced by wisdom, intelligence, self-esteem, courage, love and excitement for the future, and for the first time I felt alive! I couldnt believe it, and I started to read more about him as I started to feel so much joy that tears came down my cheeks. It was so beyond everything.
However, all the problems started to come back again, but instead of grieving and bleeding inside, now the difference was that I knew Satan was aware of my problems, and of all the people who have hurt me. This was a relief for me as I knew I had an ally on combat which motivated me to fight, not only for Him, but for me; a thing I never have done in the past, nor imagined.
Its like I have lived two lives- one in my Christian agony, and one in Satans love and courage. However, even if I was rotting inside worshipping Jehovah, I wouldnt regret it at all because I am even more aware that Satan truly cares about us, that he loves us very much, and that he is truly the Deity to worship, to love, to learn, to inspire, and knowing all of these will come back.
Keep in mind that you as a person are the most important thing in your life. You will have yourself until the end and therefore you deserve all the beautiful things in life, as we only live for a short time and just once, and the only Deity that can bring that to you in your life is Satan. Dont really care about the previous Deity you have worshipped because this is a new life, a new beginning, and a new opportunity to become truly someone. This is a whole new book in your life; the other book is obsolete because this is here and now.
My Love for Satan
By Shannon Morris
How can anyone fully express a joy for which there are no adequate words or phrases? The absolute happiness that I feel in talking about my beautiful Lord and God SATAN goes beyond all limits and boundaries. There are truly no words to express what I feel; nothing I can say will seem adequate.
I always, even as a young child, felt "apart" from the rest of the world religiously. I never quite felt in tune with other people--my age or even older--who seemed to be content with their religious convictions. I just never felt comfortable or "right" around people who were Christians or who seemed to believe in the whole concept of a "god." And yet, at the same time, I felt that there was something else for me... something that would "complete" me, (for lack of a better term). By the time I was 10, I had developed a fascination for anything that even vaguely smacked of "The Devil" or "Satan." I LOVED Halloween and horror movies and had not the slightest fear of such things... just a total fascination. Then at age 11, my parents took me on a mini vacation to my grandparents house. While we were there I slept in one of the spare bedrooms. Unfortunately, in that room, my grandparents--who were very Christian--had placed on the wall a picture of Jesus holding a sheep and walking amongst a group of other sheep. The picture was on a rough-hewn piece of wood with the bark of the tree still around the edge. It was a thick piece of wood and was hanging on the wall across from the bed where I was sleeping. I HATED that picture! I didn't want to be in that room with that THING on the wall. For some reason I got the idea that only Satan could make me feel better, so as I lay there awake, I felt a warmness and an assurance that Satan could indeed make me feel better. So I began a quiet little prayer to Him (the first time that I had ever prayed to Him), asking Him to somehow get rid of that picture from off the wall. I promised Him that if He could do that for me, I would right then and there promise myself to Him and Him alone. Within one minute of my making that promise, the picture fell off the wall, hit the corner of a heavy desk and broke in two! No joke. The thick wooden picture split right in the middle, breaking the bastard Jesus right in half!! Needless to say, my parents and grandparents came running in to see what had happened and I explained that the picture had fallen off the wall and split in two when it hit the desk, (all of which was true... I just left the part about the prayer out!). They were somewhat freaked out and had no explanation for it, but since I was always such a "good boy," they believed me, even though they were perplexed. But I knew the truth, and after they left the room, I lay there awake all night, not out of fear, but in total amazement and almost ecstasy, knowing that, in effect; Satan had heard me and had accepted me! It was the most incredible feeling ever!! From that magical moment on, I never wavered in my dedication for Him. I KNEW that I was for Him and He was for me. Then, when I was 17, I did a dedication ceremony that I wrote myself, complete with candles, and signing my name in blood, etc. When I was finished, an absolutely WONDERFUL feeling came over me! It truly was as if I could feel Satan taking my soul as His forever! Nothing since then has felt as good!
Since that time, I have never looked back or regretted my decision for a single second. That moment in the bedroom at my grandparents' house and the later moment of dedication, were the two best moments of my life! They changed the direction of my life and I would do them a million times over if I could. At those moments, I began my journey upon the best road anyone could ever hope to be on... the road to full and complete worship of SATAN! Now my entire world... my universe... is centered around Satan. He is my Lord, my God; my Father, my Master... and I will never ever deny Him or stray from His side. NOTHING in my life... not my family, career, health, or anything else is anywhere near as precious to me as my relationship with Him. He is TRULY my EVERYTHING! I love Him, adore Him, and fully bow down to Him in every way. There is no longer even the slightest devotion to the Christian "god" or its putrid "son" left in me. My dedication to Master Satan is absolutely complete. I often get irritated with the people who say they have "sold" their souls to Him. I did not "sell" my soul to Him. Selling implies that I expected something in return for my investment. I don't expect anything at all back from Lord Satan in exchange for my soul; nothing, except the privilege and honor of worshipping Him for all eternity. That makes it all worthwhile. I have no fear of what awaits me in the "beyond." The way I see it, my soul does not belong to me; it is the property of my beautiful God Satan, and He may do whatever He wishes with His property. As long as the ownership of my soul makes Him happy, that is all I care about. His happiness and my ability to praise Him are all I care about.
I urge anyone who reads this testimony and who is even slightly considering dedicating themselves to Satan-- especially young people, such as teens, as I was when I first dedicated, to do so IMMEDIATELY... as fast as you can! You will never regret it! You will soon see that it was the best thing that you ever did. Dedicate fully and completely, and then live your life as enthusiastically for Satan as you can! You will be starting a wonderful new life with the most beautiful, powerful, lovable, precious, and amazing God there is... not to mention the ONLY God! He is my Master, my God; my Lord, my Father... and He can be yours, too, if you will just make the commitment. Give yourself to Him
When Satan Drew Me In
When I was a child, I was made to go to the Baptist church. My parents, being either hypocritical or just wanting time alone apart from the kids, hardly EVER attended. They'd drop us off for Sunday school and our youth leader was this hideous young man in his early 20's- tall, handsome with COLD blue eyes. He HATED me and my sister because we were pretty (HE was married to a very pious TOAD- self-hatred going on there?), and also because we didn't come to church every Sunday and Wednesday night. We were all of like 11 years old; how DARE he treat us like that? Anyhow, I did learn those parables and things- now at least I KNOW what I disagree with! BUT I never had ANY feelings for those Gods. I saw Jesus Christ as a cartoon character who NEVER spoke to me at all, Jehovah was a b---d, and the only person I even began to like was that character we were all told to despise- Lucifer/Satan. I remember feeling nothing but empathy for him, wondering what the hell he did that they thought was so wrong? I just could not work up any enmity for the guy, no matter how hard they tried to convince me he was evil incarnate. I just DID NOT buy it. Also, being a misunderstood person myself, even from a young age, I'm sure I identified with him. I was browbeaten into becoming saved and then baptized at 12 years old, because my mom wouldn't give me a moments peace until I did that. I KNEW I didn't mean it at all but I was going through the motions to get her off my back. I remember very clearly after the baptism standing there all wet and thinking, "Do I feel any different now?" The answer was, "Nope."
That same year, when I was still 12, I went on a camping trip with the Camp Fire Girls. My best friend's mom was our leader, and those campouts were the highlight of my young life. I LOVED being out in nature. Well, that particular time, on a Sunday morning, I was sitting there on the log and our leader was preaching from the Bible (of course), and I remember thinking, what is going on here? We were sitting there surrounded by all that natural beauty, yet being told to believe in this God and his Son who are invisible. Also, he had NEVER spoken to me and it seemed at that moment that Nature was the true Divinity. Well, after that epiphany, I sort of grew into an atheist in my 20's, but in my late 20's, I began to drift toward paganism because everyone really yearns for something more- SOME sort of spirituality. And atheism usually doesn't work for most people for a lifetime. There's a REASON for that.
So I finally started meeting with a Wiccan group. I attended their public Sabbats (seasonal celebrations), and took a year of classes with them. I still have the certificate from that. BUT I eventually realized that a) some of them have doctrine that is nearly as confining in some ways as any other religion and b) even the pagan Gods did not seem to speak to me. I intellectually enjoyed the rituals, and sometimes I did seem to feel something... but it just wasn't enough. The Horned God himself did not speak to me ever, even though I liked what he stood for. I found that odd. In fact, the ONLY deity that ever DID do anything for me was the dark moon Goddess, Hecate. What happened was after I came back home again after living in a terrible neighborhood, and having been traumatized from living in that situation, I therefore was psychically sensitive. To make a long story short, I did protection chants to Hecate every day for a year and nothing bad happened to me, although I know for sure some people were angry with me for a misunderstanding. But Hecate helped me, no doubt about it- and now I know why- she is of the Dark pantheon of Goddesses just like Satan, et al.
When I started writing a novel, two of my characters were actual Goetic daemons. I began to experience things happening in my bedroom that convinced me that SOMETHING was trying to get in touch with me. I even felt something touch my shoulder one night. Then the signs and telepathic communication and things just became so unreal, that I had no choice but to believe I was being contacted, and now I know that absolutely was and is the case.
One thing led to another and I began to study demons. It led me to realize that the so-called Adversary-Satan, Lucifer, and perhaps even Azazel (whom I think of as a sort of Messiah who brought us knowledge), were the true Gods. It led me to do a dedication ritual two weeks later. This was the most beautiful ritual I have ever done in all my years of being a Witch, and when it was finished, I felt a strange tingling all over my body such as Ive never felt before or since. NO red-eyed evil monsters came to drag me off to the Christian Hell.' I remember standing there in my special robe, looking more like a Witch than ever before, FEELING as though I had found my true God at last and thinking, Do I feel any different now? The answer this time was, Oh, yes absolutely.
And it just gets better all the time. I have no regrets and even though it can seem confusing at times, even hard- I know in my heart that Satan is the most amazing God ever, and that He is as real as I am. No one will ever convince me otherwise because now my life has direction, purpose, a God who hears me and created me, and cares for me. I wish everyone could know Satan the way I do. Maybe in time, through my writing and art, I will help to show the world who He really is, and how he has been terribly misunderstood for far too long.
All my life I have had an independent connection with the occult (hidden knowledge), as well as the supernatural. Being a stubborn Leo, I've always wanted to learn things my way and discover things without listening to others. This has changed in the past year, as even though I picked up things throughout my life I don't think the average occultist and/or Satanist has discovered; I've learned there is much more that can be gained from learning through others. For a good portion of my life, Ive been able to see through the devil's eyes; yet there have been long moments when I did not. This was not because I somehow was linked by accident and never meant to be a part of our father's kingdom; that would be absurd for the reader to believe, as you either have that essence or you dont. Yet I believe my lack of sight was due to the fact that by being blind, I can understand what it feels like to be blind; to be nihilistic and see everything as being purposeless, I can understand what the average human being goes through with life. So truthfully, I always have been a Satanist deep down inside, I just haven't always practiced the religion.
Satan is what I refer to when I connect with my guides, and is regarded as the great father. To say such an ignorant claim as "Satan is not the good god of Christianity," is nothing more than a dysphemism. Anyone who has connected with Satan on a deep level, as well as with the demons, should understand that it's not a matter of whether he is the good god of Christianity or not; its the fact that he does care about humanity. The proof behind this is both historical and modern; you just have to open your eyes and pull your head out of your ass in order to see it and allow yourself to grow in a spiritual sense with him. Having a closed mind is a Christian concept and something real devil worshippers despise; yet sadly see a lot of in some of the internet Satanists that plague peoples minds into thinking they know everything about what it means to be a Traditional Satanist. They will reap what they have sown in due time, if they have not started to already. Satan is the adversary of god, in reality and outside of reality and he is the most evil entity in the universe. Myself, as well as other Satanists who have connected with him, know that he has that essence in him, because we do as well. I have done some very cruel things in my life, especially to those I love; as its in my nature, and I'm sure it is in his nature as well to inflict cruelty upon his children from time to time when he feels it is necessary. This does not cause me and shouldn't cause any of you to question the fact that he has a gentle side to him as well. Satan is still the first angel ever in all eternity, and he still has those qualities to him; but unlike Jehovah, he's open about the fact that he can be a heartless bastard; while Jehovah, who throughout history has only shown himself to be a cruel prick, yet has brainwashed humanity into believing he is a good god. I believe he truly created man in his image because when man gains power, he has a tendency to be irresponsible with it. To live under Satan is to be in a state of continuous never ending balance. This involves listening to your deeper, more sophisticated self, as well as being able to indulge in the pleasures of life without getting carried away and ending up in a state of depression and foolishness.
My life is wonderful because of Satan, but it is also wonderful because of me. His teachings, and my actually listening to them and acting upon them, are what have caused me to be a happy son of a bitch. The beauty that exists within pure darkness is much more compelling and natural to the potential spirit of man, than the forced upon blind white light (think of it as a drug to make you happy), ugliness that exists within the modern and past spirit of man.
In el nombre de Sathanas
Josteinn (Count Verdilak)
By Reverend Laura Naysmith
Satan awoke me from walking sleep four years ago. I was always aware of his existence through my then belief in Christianity but oddly I was never of the belief that he was evil. To be honest, I never even gave him much thought at all until I was a teenager. I then became obsessed with Anton LaVey, although I never read any of his books until much later. While Anton LaVeys Satanism is not what I believe in, he was an important part of my beginning to understand Satan as a God and as a Deity who is more important to the world than most people would like to admit.
I now fast forward a few years to where Satan has been (and still is) an integral part of my life. I cant ever imagine being without him. He has made me stronger, he has been with me through debilitating illness, he has shown me that who I am is important to him and he loves me for the fact that I am me. There are not many Traditional Satanists in the world because Satan does not just want any person following him; he picks whom he wants. We are the chosen few and that makes me smile every time. When I am having a bad day, then I just think of Satans love for me and everything else just melts away. I was ordained into The Universal Life Church last year so that I can, in my own small way, help other Satanists with their walk down this (sometimes) lonely path. Thankfully, our presence on the internet is growing daily and sites like Marie's have played a huge part in people's religious understanding. Let's hope that continues.
Reverend Laura Naysmith
WITH SATAN IN MY SOUL
My path to the Dark Lord Satan was a very slow, gradual process. From an early age, I knew the lies of xtianity for what they were, but I didnt know what alternatives were available to me. Id always felt a certain affinity with Satanas, though I did not actually call myself a Satanist or worship Him until several years later. Gradually, as I moved through high school and into college, I began to realize how different I was from the rest of the people around me. I seemed to have a higher sense of myself, a growing individuality which brought me increasingly to the Left Hand Path. When I was in college, I read The Satanic Bible, and my life was changed inexorably for the better.
Although I am a member of the Church of Satan, I do not follow their atheistic point of view. I respect it fully, but cannot support it. To me, there is no doubt that Satan is a very real, tangible entity. I feel His love within me and around me every day, and I cherish it. Indeed, I literally wear Satans power everywhere I go. My black leather is the Skin of Satan. Through it I feel His infinite presence as He steers me through the maze of life in the modern world.
I have been a disciple of Satanas for twenty years now, ever faithful. Over the last few months, however, it has become increasingly obvious that Satan has a plan for me. Something tremendous is looming on the moonlit horizon. Since April of this year, my faith in Satan has been jarred awake by a force beyond reckoning. It is as if Satan shook me by the shoulders and shouted, I am still here! Since April, my life has taken a major turn upward. Never before has my outlook been so optimistic, for myself as well as for the world at large.
To me, it is obvious that the xtian god has no power left to rule over the Earth. What strength he may have had has long since been bled away on the altars of Satan. To be sure, I myself have driven the knife into his shriveled heart on countless occasions. I and all other disciples of Satan strive to make this happen. We seek the unconditional destruction of god and the xtian religion. LET ME MAKE THIS PERFECTLY CLEAR: We DO NOT seek the destruction of xtians, only of their insipid god and his lies. As Satanists, we do not believe in murder, sacrifice, or physical destruction. It is much more satisfying to us to see the xtians destroying themselves in their gods name! Witness the conflict in the Middle East most of which is done in the name of god. A perversity beyond Satanic reasoning. It will not be long before xtianity drowns itself in its own tears. As more xtians realize how unworthy their god is of their love, perhaps they will discover the true course of Wisdom along the Left Hand Path. And when that happens, Lord Satanas will welcome them with open arms!
Marie asked me how I see Satan. In my eyes, Satan is the natural order of the human species. Satan is love, sex, hate, anger, passion, truth, darkness, light. Satan is all things at all times. It is what we do with His infernal power which makes us the person we inevitably become. Hate is a very negative emotion, but it lies in all of us. How we channel it is what is important. I channel my hate almost exclusively toward god and his treachery. Anger, for instance at an injustice, can be a powerful motivator toward instigating positive change in the world around us. Love, sex and truth need no explanation.
As I continue to immerse myself in the works and words of Satanas, I can feel my heart expanding with His unholy love. I strive to do His bidding, to digest his Truth and make it part of my soul. I am currently studying for the priesthood, where I hope to do Satans sacred tasks upon this Earth while I am here, before taking my place at His left side in the eternal Kingdom of Hell.
Eternally devoted to Lord Satanas,
Mørkild, Milwaukee, WI
How did I become a Satanist? That's a long story, beginning in childhood. Coming from a past of abuse, including that of a religious nature; I was introduced to "God" and "Satan" in the most horrible, corrupt ways. People used names I didn't know or care about and it was basic survival, as pain was done in the name of everything and everyone and I didn't have the choice of Fight or Flight. I was bound to the adults I depended on for basic needs, even if they didn't meet my needs. We were the all-American family on the surface, but only those involved knew what was really going on behind the scenes.
As I grew, I got away. As a teen, I lived on my own in a city I didn't know and around people I didn't understand, but at least I was in control of my own life. I explored the only religion I knew that could save my wretched soul and forgive my sins, but as I looked into it, I saw more and more hypocrisy. There was so many do's and donts and the people preaching all the "don'ts" were, in reality, the doers. I had enough and walked out of their holy shrines of debauchery.
Later on, I found Wicca and a goddess principle and being raised with a man from an Indian reservation, I was drawn to Shamanism. I love nature and all her divine beauty and it's a love affair that never ended.
Somewhere, during my quiet contemplations, a new friend sprang from the shadows to guide me. I was about to take a new spiritual journey and Anubis came to me. I was suddenly drawn to ancient Egypt, out of seemingly nowhere and his wisdom and kindness (powerful and profound), would forever change my life. Those lessons remain between Anubis and me; however, I asked him to take me on a journey through my own personal Underworld.
So began the changes and realizations...
I discovered my soul; an ancient soul-type consisting of Vampirism, Satanism, and Shamanism. Although I never considered "Satan" an entity, I found myself purchasing the Satanic Bible and taking in every word; though I found that something was missing, maybe Satan? So, being a seeker, I jumped on the internet and off I went. Another transformation took place as I went from one site to another, joining one group, then another. As soon as I even accepted that Satan may be a real being, guess who showed up? It only took that one moment of opening my mind to the possibility and there he was.
I dedicated early and then sat in silence; wondering about what I had just done and why was it suddenly so quiet? Then two nights later I sat in my room at my altar, shaking my fist and yelling at the new god that had just abandoned me. But then, you guessed it; Satan showed up and told me that I was confronting the religious crap that is all around us every day. I had the fear of "selling my soul to the devil" and "hell" and I hadnt even realized how much it is put into our brains from birth until then. That night I made my peace and said goodbye to Christian brainwashing forever.
I realize that Satan, as I call him, goes by many names. Why I chose to keep "Satan" is because for my whole life I was also the "adversary" to everything and everyone. The name encompassed the darker aspects of Him and of me that I was exploring. For 2 years now our relationship has grown beyond words; he is the greatest joy, the deepest wisdom, and the fiercest enemy. He is light and dark, love and rage and unending knowledge and his guidance is very profound. When I am back in the blackness of myself, he doesn't rescue me or sugarcoat my thoughts, but instead he kicks me in my spiritual ass and tells me things I may not want to hear. He has never lied or led me astray and all of my notes written in tattered journals speak the same wisdom and truths from Him today, as they did in the past. He is consistent and doesn't tell me one thing one day, and something else the next.
This is where my story ends. As I look with love at a ring upon my finger; a promise between him and I, there are no more words. I am still learning and exploring this world and he is by my side forever, as I am by his side. So it shall be for Eternity.
More to come... Graphics Courtesy of Walpurgis Hellish Graphics