I grew up in an evangelical, fundamental household where the bible was considered the infallible word of god and to be taken literally. The 'threat' of eternal damnation was something I learned at a very young age. My parents taught me this under the guise of 'Jesus loves you and died for your sins so you can be with god forever', but of course the alternative was 'to burn forever.' I rejected this fairly early on and questioned the literal interpretation of the bible my parents had. I had an uncle who is gay and I challenged my parents to go visit him and stone him to death if they truly believed the bible was to be taken literally. But, like all Christians, they picked and chose rather than follow what they supposedly believed. I don't want to be too hard on my parents because they truly believed all of this, and thought the best thing they could do, was to pass 'the truth' on to their children.
Even as a very young girl, I was very rebellious and non-conformant. I did not like to be told what to do (I still have issues with authority) and resented all the things my mother felt I had to learn because I was a girl. I simply refused to participate. As a teenager, I invited Satan into my life because I felt that my parents' god was not too interested in me, and I felt more attracted by Satan. I feel that this was Satan calling me to Him. I invited Him into my life when I was about 14 or 15. I remember being aware of shadowy presences in the house where I grew up in and after inviting Satan into my life, this seemed to increase. I think He was always present in the background, waiting for me to reach out to Him.
I was Jojo-ing back and forth between Satanism and Christianity for years, though I felt, as I even got baptized in a church as an adult. Why? The most important thing was subconscious pressure by family, and the fear programming that was installed in me at a very early age.
It is truly astonishing how deep-seated that programming can be. I mean, on a logical level I knew it was all a bunch of bull, but I still let it suck me back in after a while. I was very embarrassed and felt I had betrayed Satan. I realized that even though I longed for a relationship with Satan, I was seeing Him through a Christian lens, created by my upbringing. I realized it was very important to reprogram myself, and learn to look at him without the baggage from all the programming of my youth.
It was not even all that long ago when I felt as if I was hit by lightning. It was after a ritual I did to unbaptize myself, and dedicate myself fully to Satan's service. It was as if all of a sudden all ties were severed, and I felt that I could see Christianity for what it fully is for real for the very first time. I was able to break free from all the previous programming and fear that was installed in me since my very early childhood. Satan helped me to break free from all of that and embrace Him unconditionally. I felt like the Phoenix, risen from its ashes. I feel that Satan has truly liberated me. It moves me that He was so patient, so not judging me, almost as if He fully understood the process I was going through.
Satan is so much bigger than the Christian god. He is the only one who deserves to be worshiped and the only true God of this world. Satan has brought me complete freedom. He teaches me that His path leads to true free will, and a strong, discerning mind. The god of the bible claims to love people but his goal is to enslave us, turn us into mindless robots, and keep us in that state through fear-based teachings. Satan is the true Liberator and the one who really cares about humanity. His goal is to give us knowledge that helps us to discern and become strong-minded individuals who can think for themselves, instead of being sheep. I have dedicated my body to Satan as his temple and my soul as well, as offerings to Him, in honour, love, and dedication.
Hail Satan, now and forever!