By Rev. Jodash Pheonix
Since many Orthodox Traditional Satanists have a Christian background similar to mine, I'll avoid the sickening details of my long years of slavery to Jehovah and stick to the major points of that time. It's only in retrospect that I can say I was born for SATAN. Throughout childhood, I was indoctrinated with the vilest form of Christianity in existence: fundamentalism. Deep within my soul, I knew that I was never going to be a 'Good Christian' because I knew things about my nature that would make it impossible. I nurtured my hate, selfishness, and the ability to deceive subconsciously because my subconscious self realized these things were gifts to be treasured, not 'sins' to be washed away. It would take me YEARS of drowning in the sea of shit that is Christianity before I finally walked away from it at 21.
But I wasn't quite free yet because for the next 10 years, I wandered aimlessly with no realizations in spirituality. When I hit my 30s, I believe Satan tired of my floating and exerted a greater pull, making HIS legacy more obvious to me by forcing the growth of some of the seeds HE planted in my soul at my creation. Without realizing it, I gravitated to those darker places in my soul. I rediscovered the hatred, power of deception, and selfishness, then I began to learn how to manipulate these things.
It wasn't until just a few years ago that I came to my commitment. First, I read LaVey's 'Satanic' Bible, thinking it was the answer. For about a minute, I was able to convince myself that its humanistic, almost atheistic philosophy of Satan as the dark portion of the spirit was the truth. I stumbled onto the Cathedral of The Black Goat group on Yahoo and realized that they followed the principles that I had secretly looked for all of my life. I couldn't justify within myself the idea that Satan is an aspect of the human spirit because I know that HE is a real entity. I began talking with one of the members via IM and email, confessing to him what I truly believe and know about my legacy. I secured a copy of The Devil's Bible by High Priest Myrmydon (Cathedral of The Black Goat). It's good that I'm a 'quick study' because now that I was accepting my legacy, I felt I had so much lost time to make up for.
Several months after coming to CoBG, Bishop Michael (with the approval of High Priest Myrmydon) created a new 'Coven' under the umbrella of CoBG: The Cult of The Ram, a group for gay male Orthodox Traditional Satanists. Soon after we started this group, Bishop Michael extended to me the call to Priesthood within it. It's a position of honor (the call is from LORD SATAN), one in which I serve as counsel to those who have questions, need guidance, and an example of what LORD SATAN desires from all of us. My selfish nature has made it necessary for Bishop Michael to add the modifier 'Solitary' to my title since I don't have the same giving nature that some of my fellow Priests and Bishops of Satan do, so in this way, I serve counsel at my convenience. In case my position as a Priest in a Coven of gay men labels me as strictly gay, I should clarify that while I usually prefer guys for the satisfaction of sexual desires, I can't rule out women any longer... my appetite for sexual gratification is too gluttonous to continue that limitation.
Since I am a lover of music, it would be unjust for me to leave that out. Even in my youth, I was drawn to 'evil' music and heavy metal (which is about the same age I am... guess we grew up together). It was my secret pleasure, a secret that a 'Christian boy' could share with no one. Sneaking into my brother’s Judas Priest and Iron Maiden albums paved the way for my teen years where I got off on Metallica, Slayer, Pantera, etc. Specifically, committing to Satan has affected my musical taste in the past few years, too. I've blasted through Venom, Mercyful Fate, King Diamond, Sodom, Mayhem, and like bands (years after the fact), finally coming to Black Metal. There are plenty of bands who put out what I call 'doctrinally sound' lyrics, even when the band members are not True Satanists or even consider themselves Satanists, but it's still not the best choice. What I have come to most lately is music by bands who ARE committed to Satan's work(and openly admitting it). I like to refer to them as 'Satan's Musical Ministers' such as Archgoat, Thornspawn, Weverin, Goat Terrorism, etc. One of my Brothers in Satan, Brother Dagon, uses the term 'Satanic Gospel,' which is a fairly accurate way to describe the purpose of True Satanic Black Metal- glorifying Satan. I have often thought it a shame that True Satanists who enjoy other genres of music have no such overtly Satanic musical offerings to enjoy. Somewhere, there must be musically inclined Satanists whose talents lie in Country/Western, Pop, R&B, Classical, etc. I think they should be out there using their talents for the same glorification of Satan... someone should look into that.
My most recent understanding in gathering wisdom has led me to a harder, colder, more ferocious, and militant realm. I look at the workings of those who hold seats of power in government and industry and know them for the slaves of Jehovah they are. They, in turn, have sway over the masses, though slaves are slaves regardless of station. I see that the ruler-slaves will cannibalize the common-slaves, and to thin the herd they will use war, induce pestilence, and deliberate distribution of toxins. I learn of these things and have no pity for the bulk of humanity. Any shred of altruism remaining within me will be reserved for my Brothers and Sisters who, like me, have abandoned the ways of those without... and worship our Master LORD SATAN with no reservations, doubts, or limits.