My Testimonial
By Rev. Jodash Pheonix
Since
many Orthodox Traditional Satanists have a Christian background
similar to mine, I'll avoid the sickening details of my long years of
slavery to Jehovah and stick to the major points of that time. It's
only in retrospect that I can say I was born for SATAN. Throughout
childhood, I was indoctrinated with the vilest form of Christianity
in existence: fundamentalism. Deep within my soul, I knew that I was
never going to be a 'Good Christian' because I knew things about my
nature that would make it impossible. I nurtured my hate,
selfishness, and the ability to deceive subconsciously because my
subconscious self realized these things were gifts to be treasured,
not 'sins' to be washed away. It would take me YEARS of drowning in
the sea of shit that is Christianity before I finally walked away
from it at 21.
But I wasn't quite free yet because for the
next 10 years, I wandered aimlessly with no realizations in
spirituality. When I hit my 30's, I believe Satan tired of my
floating and exerted a greater pull, making HIS legacy more obvious
to me by forcing the growth of some of the seeds HE planted in my
soul at my creation. Without realizing it, I gravitated to those
darker places in my soul. I rediscovered the hatred, power of
deception, and selfishness, then I began to learn how to manipulate
these things.
It wasn't until just a few years ago that I came
to my commitment. First, I read LaVey's 'Satanic' Bible, thinking it
was the answer. For about a minute, I was able to convince myself
that its humanistic, almost atheistic philosophy of Satan as the dark
portion of the spirit was the truth. I stumbled onto the Cathedral of
The Black Goat group on Yahoo and realized that they followed the
principles that I had secretly looked for all of my life. I couldn't
justify within myself the idea that Satan is an aspect of the human
spirit because I know that HE is a real entity. I began talking with
one of the members via IM and email, confessing to him what I truly
believe and know about my legacy. I secured a copy of The Devil's
Bible by High Priest Myrmydon (Cathedral of The Black Goat). It's
good that I'm a 'quick study' because now that I was accepting my
legacy, I felt I had so much lost time to make up for.
Several
months after coming to CoBG, Bishop Michael (with the approval of
High Priest Myrmydon), created a new 'Coven' under the umbrella of
CoBG: The Cult of The Ram, a group for gay male Orthodox Traditional
Satanists. Soon after we started this group, Bishop Michael extended
to me the call to Priesthood within it. It's a position of honor (the
call is from LORD SATAN), one in which I serve as counsel to those
who have questions, need guidance, and an example of what LORD SATAN
desires from all of us. My selfish nature has made it necessary for
Bishop Michael to add the modifier 'Solitary' to my title, since I
don't have the same giving nature that some of my fellow Priests and
Bishops of Satan do, so in this way I serve counsel at my
convenience. In case my position as a Priest in a Coven of gay men
labels me as strictly gay, I should clarify that while I usually
prefer guys for satisfaction of sexual desires, I can't rule out
women any longer... my appetite for sexual gratification is too
gluttonous to continue that limitation.
Since I am a lover of
music, it would be unjust for me to leave that out. Even in my youth,
I was drawn to 'evil' music and heavy metal (which is about the same
age I am... guess we grew up together). It was my secret pleasure, a
secret that a 'Christian boy' could share with no one. Sneaking into
my brother’s Judas Priest and Iron Maiden albums paved the way for
my teen years where I got off on Metallica, Slayer, Pantera, etc.
Specifically, committing to Satan has affected my musical taste in
the past few years, too. I've blasted through Venom, Mercyful Fate,
King Diamond, Sodom, Mayhem, and like bands (years after the fact),
finally coming to Black Metal. There are plenty of bands who put out
what I call 'doctrinally sound' lyrics, even when the band members
are not True Satanists or even consider themselves Satanists, but
it's still not the best choice. What I have come to most lately is
music by bands who ARE committed to Satan's work(and openly admitting
it). I like to refer to them as 'Satan's Musical Ministers' such as
Archgoat, Thornspawn, Weverin, Goat Terrorism, etc. One of my
Brothers in Satan, Brother Dagon, uses the term 'Satanic Gospel,'
which is a fairly accurate way to describe the purpose of True
Satanic Black Metal- glorifying Satan. I have often thought it a
shame that True Satanists who enjoy other genres of music have no
such overtly Satanic musical offerings to enjoy. Somewhere, there
must be musically inclined Satanists whose talents lie in
Country/Western, Pop, R&B, Classical, etc. I think they should be
out there using their talents for the same glorification of Satan...
someone should look into that.
My most recent understandings
in gathering wisdom have led me to a harder, colder, more ferocious
and militant realm. I look at the workings of those who hold seats of
power in government and industry and know them for the slaves of
Jehovah they are. They in turn have sway over the masses, though
slaves are slaves regardless of station. I see that the ruler-slaves
will cannibalize the common-slaves, and to thin the herd they will
use war, induce pestilence, and deliberate distribution of toxins. I
learn of these things and have no pity for the bulk of humanity. Any
shred of altruism remaining within me will be reserved for my
Brothers and Sisters who, like me, have abandoned the ways of those
without... and worship our Master LORD SATAN with no reservations,
doubts, or limits.